The Glass House

We've all heard the saying about those living in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. I got to thinking today about how many people really think about this. Sometimes I wonder if people forget their own past indiscretions, actions, behaviors, acts, etc., before they judge, condemn, or act out inconsiderately towards others?

Have you ever been around someone who gives off a bad 'vibe' or a negative feeling, even when you are in the best mood? Sometimes, I think people act 'tough' because they have so many insecurities themselves and their life is not going the way they want.

We are all flawed human beings. No one is perfect. Everyone has a past. Everyone has done things in their life they wish years later they hadn't. People get mad, people judge and hopefully people move on.

Sometimes I wonder if those that don't like "drama" are those that not knowingly create it themself or contribute to it by their own actions? Interesting thought huh?

I don't believe there is ever an acceptable reason to judge someone. I know that I've done it in the past, and as I grow older, I do believe I am getting wiser. It's strange how your outlook on life becomes more clearer and alittle less fogged as you get older.

People around us, both family and friends, make decisions we don't agree with. They, at times, tend to disappoint us. We sometimes act out, get angry, judge them or the friends they associate with and tend to ignore and shun them. Now how is this acceptable?

Earlier I was reading a friends blog on a website who was describing a disagreement she was having with her sisters husband. She treated her brother-in-law rudely and not realizing that it was affecting her own relationship with her sister, those around her and she was beginning to be seen a someone on a "high-horse".

To make a long story short, her disagreement with her sisters husband, finally boiled into a big shouting match with her own sister. For two weeks they didn't talk to each other, there was tension, other family members felt the tension, it was difficult for everyone.

Then she goes on to say...one day she was reading through her journal from before her teenage years. She said she was a "wayward" teen, the rebellious one in her family. She dabbled with things she shouldn't have that she now warns her own kids about. Anyhow, she read how she got a letter from her sister turning her most troubled times. Her sister did not judge her for her actions, did not condemn her for her less then inspiring friends, did not speak down to her nor put her off. Her sister wrote her to tell her how much she loved her and will always love her, no matter what decisions she made in her life, she was still going to be there for her. She said the one sentence that struck her was "Tonya, I want you to know I am not disappointed in you but only concerned for you"......she thought to herself "How could she not be disappointed in me? I haven't done the best things lately"....

So when she had this harsh exchange recently with her sister, she cried. She thought "How can I meddle and judge my sisters husband when I am not waking in his shoes or do I know what struggles and trials they face each day?" She said she realized she based all her anger off what she heard from other family members and this clouded her judgement.

She wrote her sister an email and brought up that letter her sister had wrote her 22 years earlier. She said she finally realized the message she said meant when she said she wasn't disappointed in her:

To quote her blog:

Heavenly Father doesn't give the message that He is disappointed. He loves, and lifts, and comforts, and extends a hand. He draws in the sand and says, "Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee? She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee..." John 8:10-11 He says to a woman at the well, "For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly." He knew she was an adulteress and just before this revelation to her, he offered her living water. And a few verses later, reveals himself to her as the Messiah. (John 4) He did not judge, nor did he condemn, and He did not withhold blessings she needed from her.

He is not the kind of Father who tells his children negative messages. He is the type of father that will kneel by you, lift you tenderly, and lead you to your greatness.

That is the God I know. That is the God I love. If only this could be known by all who struggle, if only their heart could feel it, sense it, live and breathe it. The whole nature of difficultly would change, the entire outlook on the struggle, and the comfort that's always there could be truly felt.

22 years later, my sisters message to me was more pertinent then ever before, because now I understood.

Of course, her and her sister and her sisters husband made amends. My friend was humbled and said through the course of her "issues" with her sisters husband, she realized she was far from perfect and she didn't want to live in a "glass house" because glass gets scratched, fogged, dirty and you can't look out clearly through a scratched, fogged, dirty window, just as our judgements should not be clouded nor our disappointments in others be unscathed without first 'perfection" in our own lives.

So, sometimes I am moved and learn so much through others and isn't it strange that we all have almost have the same trials and lessons to learn?

My point is, if you want to be accepted for who you are, first accept others for who they are.